NWPF

PD Community BlogRead Blog

Denial on Trial

Thursday August 13, 2015

By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have learned at least a smattering of discretion. We have our private thoughts, and recognize the wisdom of keeping them to ourselves. This helps us avoid scenes like the following...

NWPF Blog Illo 20Hey, you... Yes, carefree healthy guy, you. You can’t hear me? Well focus and listen up, ‘cause I know something you obviously don’t. Of course I’m shaking. Of course I’m slurring my words. I may lurch and even fall, but no, I’m not drunk. And besides, we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you.

You think you’ll always have a steady hand and that resonant air horn of a voice? You think you’ll always have the luxury of gliding across a room without fits and starts, no hitch in your unconsciously proud stride?  You think walking is simple magic, of which you will always be the master? Maybe.

I wouldn’t bet on it.

You think you’ll always have your power of concentration? Your ability to slide easily between complicated tasks? Well concentrate on this. You may be right. But what if you’re wrong? And I’m here to tell you that people are wrong about this kind of thing all the time. Who for instance? Well, me. But this is about you, not me.

Here is what I’ll bet on.

I’ll bet that before you know it, it will be too late. That you, or a loved one, or a total stranger will make a bad decision at a critical moment that changes your life forever. Or that something out of anyone’s control will cross your stars. It may have already happened and you just haven’t heard. Yet. All it takes is a forgotten turn signal, a twist in a fall, an overlooked bite from an infected insect.

You know this, but you need a reminder. Something to make it real.  

People with Parkinson’s who refuse to acknowledge their disease are said to be in denial. We’re told helpfully we need to get through that, and move on to dealing with it. But what about all you other people out there who are borrowing time and only temporarily able? How deep is your denial about the vulnerability of your health?

So look at me. See this peck of pills I take every day just to approximate your supernatural ability to defy gravity and stand erect? See the time I spend wrestling with Newton’s laws, an object at rest, tending to remain at rest, while you go jaywalking obliviously through the loopholes?

I don’t want pity, I’m doing alright, considering. And I’m not trying to tell you what to do, or eat, how much to exercise, how much to sleep, or that if you have your health you have everything. I’m not saying live every minute to the fullest before it’s too late, that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, or any other bit of cliched good advice that we all know and have heard ad nauseum.

Like I said, (and yes, I “protest too much,”) it’s not about me. It’s about you. I just hope you learn from my experience, acknowledge the facts, appreciate what you have and then live according to whatever seems to you best in light of reality. To live as though these things matter.

Why should I care if you realize that this is important? This Parkinson’s of mine must be, has to be, good for something. If that thing is spurring you to realize how fragile we all are, that’s way better than nothing. 

Peter Dunlap-ShohlPeter Dunlap-Shohl
NWPF Blogger

Recent Posts

Autoimmune Diseases
The Most Interesting Men in the World
What Dreams May Come…
Book Review: on Carrying the Black Bag
Make Anger Your Ally

Archives

2017 2016
Lies That Parkinson's Disease Told Me
Managing the Holiday Blues 2016
Who Was That Masked Man?
The Rain Is Shining — A Thanksgiving Message
Book Review - H.O.P.E.: Four Keys to a Better Quality of Life for Parkinson's
David Leventhal: Dancer, Teacher, Community Leader, Humanitarian, Movement Specialist
Meet Emily!
Rhonda Foulds, Outrunning Parkinson's Disease
Book Review: The Perapatetic Pursuit of Parkinson Disease
Staff Stories - Melanie
Snake Oil, the Cure for Parkinson's.
Book Review: Nan Little
Life's a Lot Better with NWPF
Tipping Points
Book Review: Natural Therapies for Parkinson's Disease
Dare to Attend a Support Group
Ten for David
Time After Time: Kim Farmer's Story
The Glass is Half-Full
Book Review: Reverse Parkinson's Disease
Contentment
Parkinson's and Free Will
A positive attitude is everything
Book Review - Lucky Man: A Memoir
Alexithymia, the Parkinson’s Get Out of Jail Free Card
We Make Them Together: Major Decisions in Caregiving
Boxing is cool
Safety with Style: House Renovations you can hold on to
Book review: On My Own
Shaken to the Core
Isolation and Parkinson's Disease, The hiding and the hidden
Camp Brian Interview
Safety with Style: House design ideas you can hold on to
Book review: Shake Well Before Use
Notes on Acceptance
"Advice" to a person with Advancing Parkinson's Disease
Needed: New Parkinson’s Vocabulary
Caregiving: Ken's Story
A Well-Tested Testimonial, or Spin for Parkinson's
Safety with Style: House design ideas you can hold on to
Caregiving: Susan's Story
Rock Steady Boxing: Emily
Book Review: My Degeneration, A Journey Through Parkinson's
The Marble Halls of Power
Safety with Style: House design ideas you can hold on to
2015
ROCKIN’ AROUND THE GROCERY CART
Managing the Holiday Blues
Book Review: A Complete Guide for Patients and Families
The joke is on Parkinson's
I don't always like groups, but when I do...
JBC + DBS: A Mostly-Love Story (Continued)
Rock Steady Boxing: Fred Hyde
Present Moment: A Continued Conversation
Book Review: Navigating Life with Parkinson's Disease
JBC + DBS: A Mostly-Love Story
Present Moment
On the scent of Parkinson’s disease
Harold Allen (Hal) Newsom
The 2016 World Parkinson’s Congress in Portland, Oregon is Fast Approaching: Make Plans to Attend
Flowers on Dr. Starr's Tie
Leading the life of malicious whimsy
Listen: Unlocking Parkinson's Disease
Book Review: If I Can Climb Kilimanjaro, Why Can't I Brush My Teeth?
The Evolution of HOPE
QUIZ: How well do you know your Parkinson’s Disease?
Living with Hope
Notes on Hope
Tug, tug, tug
Denial on Trial
Flowers in Our Hair
Resilience: Bouncing Back from Adversity
Summer Travel
Tina Sawyer Steps Up Fundraising in Seaside
The uncooperative patient
To be in June
Pressure Sores
Caring for a Spouse Living with PD
Life Lessons
Doc Parkinson - A Eulogy
Boom Go Parkinson’s Costs
From the Depths of the Cupboards: Pumpkin Bars
Doctor's Visits
Get Moving!
Choosing a shared burden
Our Brain's "Negativity Bias" Part 2
Outside of Language
Managing Constipation in Parkinson’s Disease
Replacements
Finding Time for Caregiver Care
The Helplessness Antidote
Examples of living your best
10 exercise tips for people with Parkinson's
Bit on Basketball
Suggestions for the Shaken
Parkinson's Action Network (PAN) Report
Our Brain’s “Negativity Bias”
Living for a Cure
Three Huge Changes for People with Parkinson's
Caregiving, the Next Level
Parkinson's Pundit
Perseverance
Making Spousal Relationships Work
Parkinson’s and Luck
Strength. Courage.
Resolve to be a Better Caregiver!
Update from the Parkinson's Action Network
Strategies to Achieve our New Year’s Resolutions and Goals
Movement is Medicine
2014 2013 2012
Most popular posts of 2012
What are you grateful for this holiday season?
How can I tell whether medications are wearing off or Parkinson’s disease is progressing?
Can a person with Parkinson’s give blood?
When is the right time to start Levodopa?
Can acupuncture help PD symptoms?
Support the Caregiver in your Life
Power of the mind to move treatment further
Top 10 Foods for Parkinson’s (and counting!)
How can I prevent dizziness?
What can you tell me about laser light therapy and Parkinson’s
What is music therapy?
Should I take Coenzyme Q10 for my Parkinson’s?
How do I treat my cough at night?
Parkinson’s fitness programs need to be tailored to the individual to get results
Carrying the Olympic Torch for Parkinson’s today
Coffee reduces risk of Parkinson’s. What about other foods?
Facts about depression
How can I find a good doctor who is knowledgeable about PD and is caring as well? My doctor does not always listen.
Help for constipation
Sex, Intimacy and Parkinson’s
Does DBS affect speech?
Walking and balance can significantly impact quality of life- but is treatable.
Depression is common with Parkinson’s
Ode to Parkinson’s- Poem from Member
Music Enhances Brain Activity
How does posture change with Parkinson’s?
What is important to you?
Are hallucinations caused by Parkinson’s?
Hot Off the Press – Neupro approved by FDA
How do I find a Parkinson’s physical therapist to keep me exercising?
Does Azilect slow disease progression?
Manage nausea from medicines
Is delaying medication harmful?
Advice for newly diagnosed
Is Parkinson’s Hereditary?
Medication Timing
Is gambling a side effect of medicine?
Medication Assistance
Does stress cause Parkinson’s?
When to see a physical therapist
FDA approves DATScan
Coconut Oil
Protein’s effect on medicine
Restless Leg Syndrome